Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
