So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
