I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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