apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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