uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
operation have a gay friend backfired
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
