I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
