your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
this just has baby written all over it
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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