I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Be still, my beating vagina.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
