Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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