i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
