saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
