you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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