My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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