How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
It's rum buckets o'clock
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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