yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize