Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
