Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
