i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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