if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
