What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
