Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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