The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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