It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
