we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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