Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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