Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
