You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. Iām a victim of my sexual success
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