No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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