and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
