why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
