i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize