I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize