planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
