bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
what day is it and did you see me today?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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