I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
