But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
