Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
