When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
