HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
