it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
