Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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