"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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