stop calling my apartment porn island.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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