I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Why did my mother make you get naked?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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