The maid of honor just puked.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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