My liver just broke up with me...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I am mentally ready for anal.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
