I'm going to rape someone's good day.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
