I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize