shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
