Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Enjoy the penises
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
