Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
