Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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