i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
