there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize