and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
God, I missed his penis.
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