I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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