I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
