You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
