Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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