wanna go halves on a baby?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
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