dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
