So drunk its hurt
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Did I show you my penis last night?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
