What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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