I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
