i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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