Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
