Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
