Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
