hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize